Oh, the sweet sweet taste of victory

29 Apr

Well, I attempted to write a poem about my ride yesterday.

In conclusion… I am not a poet. Yikes.
I write kind of how I think, disjointed and random, but somehow things tend to come together in the end, albeit often with much effort.

I’ve been stressed out lately. This is not an apt description. I have been burning out like a 1988 honda civic with four flat tires. Eeesh.
Money sucks, my job has been stressful, and I’m “neurotic to the bone, no doubt it”. So I tend to find every single thing that could possibly count as a failure in my life and I just zero in on it with absolute focus. I can put on a fake happy face for so long, and then get absolutely exhausted at trying to keep the disguise and then I just get crabby.

I find I’ve been placing my identity in the wrong places. Whatever you believe in, I put my faith in Christ, and my identity as well. If my identity is found in being a child of God, the failures I rack myself over the coals for, become less and He becomes more.

Anyway. The ride.

I’ve been meaning to get on my bike, and I’ve been meaning to blog about it. I’ve been commuting most days, and I took an 8 mile ride a couple weeks ago in a bit of nice weather, but I really hadn’t given it my all. I decided to do the High Cliff State Park ride today. If you don’t know, or aren’t from around here, High Cliff State Park has a really nice big hill. Okay, so I know there are bigger hills, but I ride a single speed and haven’t done more than 8 miles yet this year.

There was a second about 5 miles out when I told myself I may not make it up the hill today, and then I immediately caught myself. What are you saying? Not make it up? Are you *expletive* crazy? Of course I am making it up this hill.

As the slope drew nearer I could feel myself shake a little, thinking what if, what if I can’t make it. I pushed the thoughts away and powered through, and climbed. I fought with every breath, and I cursed the wench for its foul existence and I dug my heels and I climbed.

And I made it up the hill.

As it turns out I really needed that victory today.

Oh, the sweet sweet taste of victory.

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